The pit- Big D
Chuci- My teammate, kid is 6 years younger than me, but he can hang.
Mac- My black counterpart. Same views, different interests.
Steve- My room mate, some like to say we have a bromance. Haters gonna hate.
Phil- Chuck Norris' fucking nephew! Yes, I am fucking serious. Took a while but he finally joined the dark side
Al- The shady dude. One word- diabolical.
Joo- The Iranian. He makes pubes on his head look good.
Jon- The new guy. He came to our team half way through deployment. Little dude that thinks John Cena is the best wrestler "because he don't wear panties like those other faggots."
Oswald- Another new guy. When he first got here, we all hated him. Now he is tolerable. Slower than shit though and has a heavy spanish accent.
Olaf- The despicable section sgt. He always has a dry coat of dip spit around his lips. Pretty sure everyone hates this guy.
Toon- Lame. Woke up to his older brother sucking him off. FAIL.
Scott- Kids got problems. Probably won't be mentioned that much.
Mori- The PLT sgt. This guy is dumber than shit. He has a retarded kid, so this proves my statement. Same as Olaf, no one likes him.
JB- Guy from Georgia. Nooorth Georgia, like the squidbillies. His teeth look like chewed up yellow skittles and he bathes on occasion.
Derby- The Platoon Leader. His eye twitches A LOT. Seems pretty cool, but who knows. LT's can flip the script at anytime.
Krag- Small talker. Nose is covered in shit most of the time. He's like 50 years old, but still tries to be cool.
Chapo- Real quiet guy in our section. Ex Marine.
Fadi- Self explanatory name. I fucking hate him. You fucking hate him. We all fucking hate him. Jabba the Hutt. Only cares about himself. Needs to die soon.
Fadi- Self explanatory name. I fucking hate him. You fucking hate him. We all fucking hate him. Jabba the Hutt. Only cares about himself. Needs to die soon.
My take on the boys- Cardiac Atlas
Chuci - He's like Disneyland, doesnt matter how fucking old you are, everyone enjoys being around him. Not in him. Reference Al.
Mac - The one true disciple of the Prophet Malachi. Knowledgeable on all things colored and dark skinned. If it was the end of the world you'd find him at the end of the world banging out hoe's and giving out life lesson's to those the apocolypse.
Steve- If Satan is the Prince of Lies, Steve is the King of lies, nothing against him, its a compliment, dude never, ever breaks keyfab, he could also be called the Puppet Master but who's seen that shitty movie anyways?
Big D - Pretty sure the dudes related but thats not the point. He's like a psychologist, he finds that one button, and instead of making you feel good about yourself, presses it until suicide feels like a good option, or until telling 1SG seems like the better idea. Mori prefers the later and should take the former.
Al - Old Nick, Gentleman fucking Jim, its what the English call Satan in a suit. He's off, and if he's not sleeping, he's peddling souls or pretending he isnt trying to fuck you. Probably gay, but we mostly like him anyways.
Joo - One of the only actual good guys in the pit. He got cast down with the rest of us for actually caring.
Jon - Repressed homosexual from Texas. Naw he's not that bad, just cant trust a dude without vices.
Oswald - Decent human being, sometimes cool to talk to, boring as fuck mostly.
Olaf - Complicated, and kinda pathetic, dude lives his life in complete fear. Fear of being irrelevant, fear of getting in trouble, fear of being used, fear of being forgotten. Take all the personal drama of everyone in the pit, compare it to Olaf, and they might be about equal. Secretly wants to be in the Pit, but is too afraid of the "Fall". Kinda creepy otherwise, attracted to Big D. Tried to induce a heart attack to dodge deployment.
Toon - Her breasts were pierced and her clit was too. Toon interfered for all of 5 minutes. Universally hated by all. Gay cockblocker.
Scott - Attention whore, and no, i'm not talking about him.
Mori - Abandoned as a child, raised by women followed by fake dads. Believes the only way he'll ever be a real son is by staying in the Army. Wife is more of a man then he is, reference castration, clean the gene pool his kid is retarded.
JB - He's like the Janitor in a High School, gets shit down, knows some nifty tricks, not really someone you hang out with, but decent to talk to on occasion.
Derby - Tries to pretend he's an asian Cloud Strife on steroids, currently training to be the next Lui Kang in Mortal Combat 3. Currently trying to reach prestique mode in not giving a fuck. His Q ability is RANK SHIELD and its got no cooldown. (LoL Reference for you n00bZ)
Krag - Position, rank, experience, and forgot to actually go after what he wanted. The man who would be King is an exile, forever striped of power but cant forget he's not one of the peons. Needs to join the rest of the mad-men and forget about all the other bullshit.
Chapo - Most likely to actually stab you and not just joke about it.
Fadi - Pulled an allnighter with him, when I first met him in '07 yes, '07, his first words to me, HOURS after were "Take me to breakfast." *Notice - Will tell on you". 29 years old and still acts like a kid, close enough since he's a virgin.
